Help: Where’s our Fletch?
He was in the garden yesterday morning, but in the afternoon we realised he’d gone. We knew immediately something was up, because – as you can imagine – being a perchcrow, he doesn’t normally travel outside the garden.
We found a ransom note, the photograph above, and his friend and constant companion Bubble, the mouse, in the garden letterbox. This is what the note said:
“I’ve got Fletch. If you want to see him in one piece,
I want as much coffee and cakes as I can eat.
I saw mice when I nabbed him and I’m not afraid to get the ferret.
The cure is worse than the disease.
I will be contacting you shortly.
(Don’t call me shortly.)”
We know the cakes in our café are great, but we never imagined anyone would stoop so low to get their jaws round a free supply.
We’re trying to stay calm and, obviously, will be paying the ransom immediately the kidnapper gets back in touch, to ensure the safe return of Fletch and Squeak, his other rodent friend, who was in his pocket at the time of his disappearance.
In the meantime, we’ll keep you posted on developments.
(And if we happen to find that this is anything to do with one of the National Trust’s North Lakes Rangers, who we know loves our cakes, he’s going to be in BIG TROUBLE!)
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