I’m back… and regenerated!

14 Apr

Fletch is back and looking better than ever

Better than ever: I hope you’ll agree that I’m looking extremely well

Hello everyone… it’s so good to be back with you all after my kidnap ordeal. My therapy has been a great success and, like Dr Who, I have been regenerated, so I’m not just back to my old self, I’m feeling – and looking – better than ever.

Amanda, the Head Gardener, my chief assistant in this delicate process, says she’s given me a little extra padding as this is my sixth regeneration, so in Dr Who terms, I’m Colin Baker! (If that means nothing to you, she suggests you Google him!)

Fletch the Perchcrow's new flag

Perfect symbol: My new flag

I’m particularly proud of my new accessory – the Fletch flag. My name is symbolised by the arrow in the centre, as an arrow maker is known as a Fletcher. This is also a link to my namesake, Fletcher Christian, of Mutiny on the Bounty fame.

The arrow is hung with a blue bell, taken from the Wordsworth family coat of arms, and this symbolises the house. There’s a crow to denote my role as a scarecrow, but it’s perched on the arrow and bell to hint at my lack of scariness!

All of this is placed on a golden daffodil silhouette, which rests on a green field. These recall both the famous poetry of Wordsworth and the beautiful garden of his childhood home, where I now live.

My flag was a gift from one of my friends, Philip, who works as the Community Vexillologist for the Flag Institute – isn’t that the best job title you ever heard? Amanda took a while to get her mouth round it!

What it means it that Philip works with groups and communities who want to develop a flag and have it included in the UK Flag Registry. He provides resources and templates, does historical research and even draws up the artwork for many flags.

Philip is also an advisor to the Parliamentary Flags and Heraldry Committee, and – even more important – he’s a massive Whovian (that’s a Dr Who fan, to the uninitiated). Isn’t he talented!

To make your wedding day even more special…

1 Apr

The bearded bridesmaid

New offer: Our bearded bridesmaid is available for weddings and other special occasions

Hello everybody! Amanda and Alex, Fletch’s typists, here. We’re pleased to tell you that his counselling (after his traumatic kidnap ordeal) is going well and he’ll be back blogging very soon.

In the meantime, we have an announcement to make…

Wordsworth House and Garden is launching a fabulous addition to its wedding service. Brides can already choose to have our lovely costumed servants in attendance. Now we’re offering a costumed 18th-century bridesmaid too!

And, as the Georgians were keen on freak shows and we’ve very keen on being authentic, we’ve decided to make her a bearded lady, Brucilla.

Do get in touch if you’d like to book her for your special day.

Daisy dog to the rescue

25 Mar
Rescue team

Ready for action: Our crack rescue team assembled at Millbeck Towers

Amanda here with brilliant news. Following Agent Double-O-Jim’s intelligence gathering, we put together a crack team of rescue operatives to seize Fletch from the clutches of his evil kidnapper.

Thanks to intervention by Daisy, the trainee mountain rescue dog, the operation went like clockwork and Fletch is now back among his friends and receiving counselling. He will be blogging again soon.

Daisy subdues the kidnapper

Bad man down: Trainee mountain rescue dog Daisy subdues the kidnapper

Fletch rescue achieved

In safe hands: Fletch’s ordeal is over

Fletch kidnapping: At last a glimmer of hope

18 Mar

Fletch and his kidnapper

Spotted: Fletch and his kidnapper

Our investigator Agent Double-O-Jim has come good! He followed up on a tip off (but refuses to reveal his sources) and snatched this snap of Fletch and his kidnapper in the garden of their hideaway love nest Millbeck Towers, a palatial holiday property with stunning views near Keswick.

Jim and I (Head Gardener Amanda) are working on a cunning rescue plan. Watch this space – we’ll keep you updated.

A plea from Fletch’s friends

11 Mar

Fletch's friends

Missing him: Fletch’s friends, including his mini-me, Little Fletch, are miserable without him

With no sign of Fletch’s return, following the dreadful news that he has fallen in love with his kidnapper (or so the kidnapper says), some of his dearest friends would like to make the following plea:

Hello world – and evil kidnapper – we are the knitted dolls who live in Wordsworth House and Garden’s splendid Family Explorer Bags.

Please, we beg you, let Fletch come home to his true friends. We miss him and are crying ourselves to sleep every night.

His mini-me, Little Fletch (second from the left in our picture), is going to need therapy if he doesn’t come back soon!

Agent Double-O-Jim is on Fletch’s trail

7 Mar

Agent 00Jim

Our man on the inside: Agent Double-O-Jim, in heavy disguise

It’s Amanda at the keyboard again – and, at last, I have some encouraging news about Fletch’s abduction.

Following the body blow we received earlier this week concerning his relationship with his kidnapper, we have engaged a secret agent to track the lovebirds down.

Agent Double-O-Jim (any resemblance to North Lakes Countryside Membership Recruiter Jim is entirely coincidental) has gone deep under cover to search for clues about their location.

Once he finds their love nest, we will be organising a daring rescue and a course of therapy sessions for Fletch to reverse the brainwashing. Wish us luck!

Fletch succumbs to Stockholm Syndrome

5 Mar

Fletch and his kidnapper

Lovebirds: Fletch and his kidnapper on the shores of Derwentwater

Amanda here. We have more alarming news to report. The following message, and the photograph above, arrived today:

All at Wordsworth House and Gardens.
I have come to realise over the last few days why you want Fletch back so much. I have grown fonder of him than I could possibly imagine.
I think Fletch feels the same way. In fact, he wants to stay here. No amount of coffee or cakes could buy him back.
I will not be in touch again. I hope you will wish him all the best in his new life.


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